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  1. Sounds like me when I worked at Microsquish (and before I started learning animation last year). How many people have I known that got their blue badges saying this was temporary and then the siren call of free coffee and mountain dew made them so comfortable that they don't notice that their spark has extinguished. I can think of four just off the top of my head. This may be a hard thing to hear but you may want to start thinking about getting out of the field before it sucks your soul into hell and next thing you know you've been miserable for twenty years. If you've got a family you're probably scr*wed and need to put your shoulder to the grindstone and just take it. Their happiness is more important than yours. But if you don't there's still time. You just have to confront the possibility that there might not be a trapeze there when you jump and you'll wind up both miserable AND homeless. Remember, all life is suffering and suffering with Cinema 4d is better than suffering while digging ditches or telemarketing cremation services. On the other hand it may not be animation itself but where you work and what you do. Doing work that doesn't rock your world in the right field is almost as bad as the wrong field. Let's face it, a job is usually just a job, whether you're working with Maya or some tax software. When I worked at Sierra Online, you know, the awesome fun video game company that made Half Life, I'd meet testers walking around like zombies because they've spent the last three months playing the same screen of arcanuum or empire earth for eight hours a day. Once I asked one of these guys how his day was going and he said, 'kill me now.' And he's playing a video game all day. It stinks when you're really smart and creative and spend most of your day doing what a trained monkey could do. With the exception of spending nearly fifteen years doing a job that I hated within six months of starting, I'm lucky. I knew I'd discovered magic within fifteen minutes of loading up Daz. In my first animation journal entry called, '96 hours later', I figured that I spent over 60 of those 96 hours playing with Daz. I'd never experienced anything like that. And that was just Daz. It was before I bought Cinema and discovered what true love could feel like. And it hasn't diminished one little bit. Of course I have no idea what it's like in an industry job (and I hope I never find out. I'd rather eat my own face than ever have a boss again.) But I'm so happy now that it's actually weird. If you believe Joseph Campbell, then when you follow your bliss you'll start to notice invisible hands helping you along. That's what happened to me. I've made nearly as much money this year with no job as I with my job at Microstupid. But that could be weird luck. Keep in mind that you may not have what it takes to figure this out. After all, your decisions got you into this mess. I would have never have been smart enough to choose animation off a list if it didn't come with this massive orgasmic feeling that I'm doing exactly what I should be doing. God plopped it on my lap. Doesn't sound like that's happened to you yet. You may need to look to others. There is help out there. So your choices are follow your bliss, don't follow your bliss, or kinda follow your bliss. You got to know what that bliss is though, and it sounds like you're not entirely sure. I'd start there. It may have nothing to do with Animation. Best wishes The one thing I'd say is in your favor is that you seem to be self aware.
  2. I was just talking about how lucky I was to start with Cinema 4d instead of Maya. I love Maya now that I get nodes, but I was making stuff in Cinema about an hour after installing it. To me Cinema is like having hippy parents. The basic stuff is so easy and nice but it doesn't force you into correct habits if you don't feel like it. For example, the interface is so perfect, so why use keyboard shortcuts? Maya is like a German Engineer. (Zer ahre prozeedures...) Zbrush is like having an insane girlfriend that's amazing in bed but makes your life miserable the rest of the time. 3d Coat is, I don't know who 3d Coat is but whoever it is, he or she is plucky. Mudbox is a kindergarten teacher. Have no idea why. Agree? Disagree? I just downloaded the trial of Marvelous Designer. Anyone want to anthropomorphize that. (Wow, spelled that right on the first try.)
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