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spritelyjim

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Please critique this spot. We really need some fresh eyes. We're trying to finalize some things with the client now.

 

What isn't finished:

1. Not all type elements included.

2. Rotoscoping not done. (so you see lines crossing people, etc.

3. Lux and Particular fog still need to be laid in.

 

http://www.cosmicpictures.com/clients/clie...0_MAR_12_v2.mov

 

Thanks!

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Please critique this spot. We really need some fresh eyes. We're trying to finalize some things with the client now.

 

What isn't finished:

1. Not all type elements included.

2. Rotoscoping not done. (so you see lines crossing people, etc.

3. Lux and Particular fog still need to be laid in.

 

http://www.cosmicpictures.com/clients/clie...0_MAR_12_v2.mov

 

Thanks!

 

Looks like Motion Blur switch is off on a couple layers ("real salt lake", "height/weight/age").

 

The "vision" chart feels like it is just sitting there, especially dead center flanked by images on either side. Maybe play with the typography a little more.. make it less "literal", more abstracted? maybe larger type, bleeding off the screen.

 

Is that grass at the end done in CG?

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No, it's just an extra shot we had, a close up of grass, so we laid it in to fill the lower part of the screen.

 

 

Ah.. it looks exactly like a grass thing I did with Particular. Weird. I had a variation that looked exactly like it.

 

http://trapcode-people.net/filedetails.php?fileid=121

 

I think the fog/volumetric light will help. Maybe even some dust?

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is this going to be stretched later? because the soccer ball looks too oblong vertically. I would also have the extruded type in front of it extend horizontally to the screen's edges, it's being overwhelmed by the soccer ball behind it.

 

i was also bothered by the fact that the 'vision' text block was tilted to the left, i think it would look much better it stayed parallel with the bottom of the frame. i would make the text brighter in general. give it more punch, make it more glowy (not shiny! there's a difference)

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is this going to be stretched later? because the soccer ball looks too oblong vertically. I would also have the extruded type in front of it extend horizontally to the screen's edges, it's being overwhelmed by the soccer ball behind it.

 

i was also bothered by the fact that the 'vision' text block was tilted to the left, i think it would look much better it stayed parallel with the bottom of the frame. i would make the text brighter in general. give it more punch, make it more glowy (not shiny! there's a difference)

 

For some reason the ball render doesn't look right either square pixels or .9. I agree with the text size in front of the ball. I actually think the ball just needs to be smaller. If I expand the glow, is there a way to make it so the edges aren't so strong, so the glow fades off more smoothly? Every time I do it, it just seems to look like an annoying ghosting effect rather than a glow. Do I need to use shine instead? Or make the glow in photoshop?

 

Thanks for the feedback.

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great start.

 

The camera movements are too safe in my mind.

it is always pointing in one direction paning back and forth; i'm wondering if you are trying to give it that hand held camera feel... (i think that would be great) ... you should loose the gravity.

I guess what i mean is, when the ball comes at you why not flip the camera backwards to the next title card...or anyway you want for that matter. You have this void of darkness, type and soccer.....why not treat it like a void and get freaky with the camera movements/transitions?

 

Am i making sense? Where am i?

 

~h

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great start.

 

The camera movements are too safe in my mind.

it is always pointing in one direction paning back and forth; i'm wondering if you are trying to give it that hand held camera feel... (i think that would be great) ... you should loose the gravity.

I guess what i mean is, when the ball comes at you why not flip the camera backwards to the next title card...or anyway you want for that matter. You have this void of darkness, type and soccer.....why not treat it like a void and get freaky with the camera movements/transitions?

 

Am i making sense? Where am i?

 

~h

 

I like these ideas. Yeah, we're definately trying for a handheld look, I just need to do a better job of finessing the camera moves. As for the on direction, yeah, maybe I was planning to small. I tend to get locked into thinking that everything is 2.5D so I can't play too much with the camera direction. I constantly have to think to break myself from this.

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I tend to get locked into thinking that everything is 2.5D so I can't play too much with the camera direction.

 

 

...if you select your 2.5d layers >transform>auto orient> chk- orient towards point of interest_your layers will always face your camera. (if you didn't know). May not work the way you want, depending on how you want it animated ...just a suggestion.

 

~h

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...if you select your 2.5d layers >transform>auto orient> chk- orient towards point of interest_your layers will always face your camera. (if you didn't know). May not work the way you want, depending on how you want it animated ...just a suggestion.

 

~h

 

That's a good suggestion. I have tried that on less extensive projects, but auto-orient to camera seems to get screwed up when you parent things together. I probably parent too much anyway, but it is annoying.

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at about :18 seconds where the camera is on the player in teh middle of the field. the next camera move zooms into his shoulder then his face. Not sure if your trying to hide an edge or something but i would fix that a bit as it seemed noticable... Overall its pretty nice though.

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at about :18 seconds where the camera is on the player in teh middle of the field. the next camera move zooms into his shoulder then his face. Not sure if your trying to hide an edge or something but i would fix that a bit as it seemed noticable... Overall its pretty nice though.

 

There is quite a bit of hiding edges going on. Our cinematographer is still getting used to the idea that shooting HD and outputting SD means that very tight framing isn't as desirable as latitude to animate. I'll look at that section some more. Thanks!

 

Graymachine, I finally got the chance to look at that grass stuff you did. Pretty awesome stuff! There really is no way to easilty blend two particular effects together, though, is there? Reminds me of the Flash particle stuff on Motionographer right now.

Edited by spritelyjim

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all in all, looking nice..

 

but what i'd like to see:

 

- more local animation in the type

- more atttention paid to the type styles... they're a little disparate at the moment

 

and that's it, really... please post the final version!

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i think it looks pretty damn nice, especially for a regional spot.

 

one lil' thing is that the camera movements are a little "psuedo-organic" in that they seem to be whole-heartedly trying to emulate the physics of real-world movement, though the emulation is off enough that it ends up feeling kinda uber-synthetic.

 

my big suggestion would be... don't be afraid to use cuts to punctuate rhythm and cadence. (not speaking of you, but) some mographers act like using cuts is a sin or something. a great ref for how effective cuts/editing can be for mograph would be that dk thingee for sundance with the icarus motif. and also, one hundred years of cinema.

 

again, these "use cuts" remarks don't really apply to you and i'm not meaning to single you or your project out, but i think the most direct and accessible way for you to push this spot up a notch is to use cuts... and remember that a cut does not necessarily have to be a change in time, just a change in space & camera placement. sorry, i know this sounds pretentious.

Edited by jaan

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i think it looks pretty damn nice, especially for a regional spot.

 

one lil' thing is that the camera movements are a little "psuedo-organic" in that they seem to be whole-heartedly trying to emulate the physics of real-world movement, though the emulation is off enough that it ends up feeling kinda uber-synthetic.

 

my big suggestion would be... don't be afraid to use cuts to punctuate rhythm and cadence. (not speaking of you, but) some mographers act like using cuts is a sin or something. a great ref for how effective cuts/editing can be for mograph would be that dk thingee for sundance with the icarus motif. and also, one hundred years of cinema.

 

again, these "use cuts" remarks don't really apply to you and i'm not meaning to single you or your project out, but i think the most direct and accessible way for you to push this spot up a notch is to use cuts... and remember that a cut does not necessarily have to be a change in time, just a change in space & camera placement. sorry, i know this sounds pretentious.

 

It's a great comment. Actually, yesterday we got into that exact topic of editing in motion graphics because of a post in this recent thread: http://mograph.net/board/index.php?showtopic=11696&hl= We have a few more of these spots to do, and the next one we're planning on cutting in places.

 

I even emphasized in film editing in school and I still have to consciously force myself to bring those skills to motion graphics. I guess one reason is that I've watched so many pieces that don't use editing. And moving my skills to editing much abstracted graphic design feels awkward at first.

 

Thanks for the advice. I'll definately work at it.

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It's a great comment. Actually, yesterday we got into that exact topic of editing in motion graphics because of a post in this recent thread: http://mograph.net/board/index.php?showtopic=11696&hl= We have a few more of these spots to do, and the next one we're planning on cutting in places.

 

I even emphasized in film editing in school and I still have to consciously force myself to bring those skills to motion graphics. I guess one reason is that I've watched so many pieces that don't use editing. And moving my skills to editing much abstracted graphic design feels awkward at first.

 

Thanks for the advice. I'll definately work at it.

 

eek. didn't read that thread... sorry to sound redundant.

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one lil' thing is that the camera movements are a little "psuedo-organic" in that they seem to be whole-heartedly trying to emulate the physics of real-world movement, though the emulation is off enough that it ends up feeling kinda uber-synthetic.

 

HA!!!Im sorry thats the funniest sentence ever. (in any context)

!!!

 

At any rate nice piece!

 

 

PS "I psuedo-oragnic'd your mom last night ... she emulated 4 times"

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HA!!!Im sorry thats the funniest sentence ever. (in any context)

!!!

 

At any rate nice piece!

PS "I psuedo-oragnic'd your mom last night ... she emulated 4 times"

 

when i organic'd YOUR mom, there was no psuedo involved, just the real thing. then i stopped 'cause i realized that she wasn't a woman, only emulating one.

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