Another Apple Genius (idea)

[nextexit 0]

It always has been a pointless device but this new incarnation is pure evil, almost like an Onion fake product review:

 

http://www.apple.com/ipodshuffle/

 

The two basic deign blunders:

 

1. The controls are in the earplugs, loose the headphones and you have a 4GB paper clip

 

2. What were they smoking when they invented this feature?:

 

"Introducing Voice Over 2 the feature that gives iPod shuffle a voice. With the press of a button, it tells you what song is playing and who’s performing it. It can even tell you the names of your playlists, giving you a new way to navigate your music."

 

Firstly the Mac voice over sounds like a robot from 1981 but even worse, when you synch it with a PC the voice changes to a gaybot.....with space of 1000 song you have to wait till the gaybot tells you ALL THE FUCKEN TITLES to find the one song you are looking for....

 

I wonder if they thought about other languages.... I mean how does it deal with foreign titles (Japanese for example) or if they do make a version for each language then the foreign languages will fuck up the English song titles, which I'm guessing the majority of the worlds pop' music is sung in... for example In German 'The Strokes' would become “Ta Schtrookes”

 

Good work Apple.....

 

Rant over

Edited March 11, 2009 by nextexit

[aspekt 0]

it reminds me of the cell phones in zoolander...Also what if you dont want to use their headphones?

[anthonyc 0]

apple hater! GET HIM!

[nextexit 0]

apple hater! GET HIM!

 

I :H apple

 

I hate things designed badly to make money.

[nog 0]

Eh, I don't know... It's dirt cheap. It's obviously for people with 100 songs who just want to go jogging and switch between a few different playlists. The kind of people who would never use any headphones other than the ones that are included anyway. It's for the lowest common denominator, and I bet they'll sell a few.

[scott frizzle 0]

I :H apple

 

I hate things designed badly to make money.

 

I only use my shuffle while running, and it seems that trying to use that cord mounted control while it's bouncing all over would be a pain in the ass. I'm sure if I managed to grasp it I'd yank the headphones out of my ears half the time anyway. Also, I think Apple has officially passed the threshold where it was practical to make this thing any smaller.

 

I usually love Apple's stuff, but this doesn't look terribly compelling.

[jazman 0]

I imagine that it is probably for adults or kids who don't need a $200 plus iPod. Just something to listen to music. My daughter's first iPod was a shuffle because that's all she needed at the time.

[KGB 0]

I dont know.... first thing I do when I get an iPod(hasn't been too often) is get a new set of headphones.

I don't go for expensive stuff, but I like the fit and sound of $20 Sennheiser earbuds.

This would force me to go for theirs and the integrated remote.

 

At this point, I think it would make sense to just integrate the shuffle INTO an set of earbuds.

BTW...dont know the usefulness of "voiceover" but it sounds like a cool feature.

Edited March 12, 2009 by KGB

[Beaver 1]

Integrated remote = dumb for sure. Maybe I just have big ear holes, but apple buds don't fit my ears well at all. I have the prev. shuffle and love it for working out. Nice to have something that doesn't weigh anything. However, anything that forces you to use those damn earbuds...argh! They tried this with the first iPhone, with their under-sized jack, and it was a huge failure. (but a boon for the first few providers of adapters)

 

I swear they just want more people using those white friggin earbuds because that's what people see. If they're really gonna limit you like that, they need to at least offer some other headphone options.

[nextexit 0]

I imagine that it is probably for adults or kids who don't need a $200 plus iPod. Just something to listen to music. My daughter's first iPod was a shuffle because that's all she needed at the time.

 

I'm guessing the people that make up that target group aren't sticklers for labeling songs properly so I'm guessing 'voice over's' gonna sound a little like this:

 

Cue gay 80's robot voice:

 

"Track 1 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 2 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 3 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 4 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 5 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 6 Unknown Artist Unknown Album"

"Track 7 Unknown Artist Unkn........................... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Edited March 12, 2009 by nextexit

[anthonyc 0]

Integrated remote = dumb for sure. Maybe I just have big ear holes, but apple buds don't fit my ears well at all. I have the prev. shuffle and love it for working out. Nice to have something that doesn't weigh anything. However, anything that forces you to use those damn earbuds...argh! They tried this with the first iPhone, with their under-sized jack, and it was a huge failure. (but a boon for the first few providers of adapters)

 

I swear they just want more people using those white friggin earbuds because that's what people see. If they're really gonna limit you like that, they need to at least offer some other headphone options.

 

it would be funny to see when you're ordering an ipod.....'what size ear hole do you have?' lol....big ear holes....that's hilarious.

[superegophobia 0]

I swear they just want more people using those white friggin earbuds because that's what people see. If they're really gonna limit you like that, they need to at least offer some other headphone options.

http://www.ipodnn.com/articles/09/03/12/kl...huffle.earbuds/

http://www.ipodnn.com/articles/09/03/11/sh...earbud.support/

I'm sure more 3rd party headphones (at various price points) will come out in the future

Edited March 12, 2009 by superegophobia

[BillD²²² 0]

I like my 2nd gen shuffle a lot.

Great for gym/running/snowboarding --easy to click to the next song without stopping what your doing.

These new dinky ones look like more trouble than they are worth.

Unnecessarily too small.

What's next the RFID-Pod?

[anthonyc 0]

i'd like an ipod surgically implanted into my brain.

[xdozex 0]

Well the good thing is now they are saying they will be releasing an adapter to allow you to use any headphones. I guess they got flamed a bit too much about forcing you to use their headphones.

[anthonyc 0]

the usirius starplyr app that lets iphone users listen to sirius xm on their phones got canned. screw the headphones....i want that app!!!!

[Duder 0]

Apple headphones always sucked. Even their expensive ones.

 

Even the cheap $20 Sony headphones are miles better.

[KGB 0]

iPod Shuffle Teardown

[Beaver 1]

Now there's reports that the headphones have some built-in DRM...?

 

http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/03/15/holy-...huffle-earbuds/

 

Not really DRM in the standard sense, but if you make the controls proprietary it could lock out 3rd party headphones. (I never thought I'd be saying 3rd party headphones - how can you mess up something so simple).

 

However, I wonder if folks like Sennheiser and Bose actually enjoy this. After all, every time apple pulls these shenanigans, it's an opportunity for third parties to sell new gear as well.

 

In the end I think this makes about as much sense as $500 sticks of ram. They're inviting people to look elsewhere.

[Kokosing 0]

To type an 'A' you press the button once. To type a 'Z,' you guessed it, press the button 26 times...

[7twelve 0]

imo, apple is seemingly losing the plot more and more with each thing they do

[anthonyc 0]

they could lose the plot for the next 20 years and i'd still avoid buying anything that ran windows.

 

btw, the thing cost 80 bucks, is small and does more than the previous shuffles...lol what do you want the thing to do change your cars oil, tell your kids bedtime stories and cut your grass for you?

Edited March 16, 2009 by anthonyc

[iline 0]

I've said it before and i'll say it again...that apple logo scares the bejesus out of me. It's sinister. Go round the BBC or any upscale coffee shop with wifi access, and you're surrounded by little glowing apple signs, like an insidious swastika that people wear proudly. People who say stuff like, "It just works, out of the box". That may be true, but what happens when Steve Jobs karks it and his evil deputy steps up and flicks the big, red

 

"MAKE ALL APPLES INTO HYPNO-MACHINES THAT TURNS NU-YUPPIES INTO RAVING MAD KILLERS"

 

button. Won't be so fucking flippant about owning an iPhone then, will you? You'll be stabbing children and running naked thru sports stores screaming an Apple song you just made up, before all congregating into a massive crowd of hypnotised zombie soldiers, goose-stepping in the general direction of Redmond, programmed to tear Microsoft down from the roof tiles to the foundations. The screams of Microsoft employees will ring out around Silicon Valley, as you chew on the lower intestine of a visiting Visual C++ tech who was only stopping by to use the toilet facilities.

 

That said, I hope this does happen as I have been forced to use Vista on my laptop for two years, and I have shed too many tears over the non-performance of this machine. I wish someone would bully Bill Gates again, like the good old days. Lock him in his locker, give him a wedgie, any personal affront that lets him know how much people hate Vista, and how much money people have lost because he told them that Vista was kosher. LONG LIVE APPLE!!

[mete_shop 0]

"MAKE ALL APPLES INTO HYPNO-MACHINES THAT TURNS NU-YUPPIES INTO RAVING MAD KILLERS"

 

lol!

[ianfreeze 1]

 

seems fitting.