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bobmarker

Your Critique Wanted - Intro for Kids TV Show

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This project is about 95% complete (the ending 30 frames are still incomplete as well as color grading all but the last scene, FYI). Might be a little hard to change some of the bigger scenes, etc., but I'm open to your feedback and criticism. I've got to submit the completed project to the clients on Monday.

 

http://vimeo.com/16300102

 

I know of a handful of issues that still need to be fixed, but I'm curious if any of you can find them or is it that I've seen each frame a million times too many.

 

This is for a Christian educational show for kids. This is the title sequence.

 

I'm braced for your critiques. Some things I'd like direct feed back on are:

  1. The pace and feel
  2. The color palette
  3. With only this to gage the show please indicate what interest level you feel this might generate for kids 2-15 years old.
  4. Interest level you feel this might generate for kids 15-18 years old.
  5. Interest level you feel this might generate for adults (particularly parents).
  6. Production quality
  7. How "fun" or "interesting" is it to watch (shot transitions, etc.)
  8. What message is conveyed in this intro?
  9. With only this intro, what does it appear the show is about?

Let me me have it. Bullet proof vest is on. :)

 

Som

Edited by bobmarker

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Well, for being for kids i would say that it totally works. One thing that i saw was the lowres schoolbus in the begining. The pixels were HUGE. So i would replace that one. Also i find it disturbing to mindfuck young kids with religion but i guess you can't change that :) Other than that, good job.

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the school bus looks kinda ghetto, i mean that shit has some rugged ass tires on it, lol . the end is weird, your text just pops off... and i think Jesus should pop out from behind the family and shoot lasers out of his eyeballs right when the rainbow comes up.. that would be sweet. :lol:

 

your lacking a lot of design, A LOT

 

The best thing I would say is to try to learn more about typography, and design. I'd write more but im trying to leave for the weekend. goodluck

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The bus / elk in the very beginning looks low res / blurry.

In the live action cooking shot, all animation / art is heavily in the bottom left corner. Try adding a little somethin' somethin' to the top right corner.

Thoughtful gets smashed long before I can read it

I can't really see the words 'cooking' 'explore', or 'nature' too well. I didn't see 'bible' at all until my 4th pass. Probably because of the next item.

The rainbow looks a bit slapped on top of the subjects. Try comping them in nicer, have it go up and over the couch.

Typography needs attention.

 

No, I have no clue what it could be about, other than a full day's worth of elementary school classes packed into an episode of.. something Christian. It may help to use phrases like "exploring nature" - rather than having the two as separate objects. "Cooking tips", "Science Experiments", things like that... The problem with having these single-words flashing up is that theres no lead in... Nothing telling you what is being done with these subjects. Its just a shotgun blast of school subjects right now. Read what your saying as a full sentance: "Thoughtful Hour presents cooking, science, explore, nature, bible. Dare to be.". Doesn't make too much sense. Dare to be what? Where did that come from?

 

Nothing much to complain about with the video production quality other than the camera moves. I like the transitions. I think you just need to clear up the messaging a bit.

Edited by AromaKat

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I'm braced for your critiques. Some things I'd like direct feed back on are:

  1. The pace and feel
  2. The color palette
  3. With only this to gage the show please indicate what interest level you feel this might generate for kids 2-15 years old.
  4. Interest level you feel this might generate for kids 15-18 years old.
  5. Interest level you feel this might generate for adults (particularly parents).
  6. Production quality
  7. How "fun" or "interesting" is it to watch (shot transitions, etc.)
  8. What message is conveyed in this intro?
  9. With only this intro, what does it appear the show is about?

 

 

1. moves very jerky with long lulls in between. no rhythm. i'd hate to see your camera paths. probably something like the ekg off a hummingbird.

2. this is for kids so you get a pass. but for your own sake learn to use color sparingly/thoughtfully. not with reckless abandon. you don't have a color palette.

3-5. this is mograph.net. you want whogivesa****.com.

6. unless you've been apart of a real production, the answer to this is irrelevant.

7. it is not fun. it is not interesting. your transitions suck.

8. "i need to learn the basics before swinging for the fences."

9. bad design

 

not to be a jackass but c'mon you're asking for it. you need some design learnin i reckon.

 

there really are no "issues" that need to be fixed. bad design is bad design and you need to kill the cancer before it kills you.

 

dare to be...overzealous.

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You received some kill shots on here. I feel like a few tweaks will fix this. First thing is the camera movement. I felt my head tilt a few times trying towatching everything that was going on.

 

Check out this tutorial for stronger camera movements, thereis a free plug-in for after effects too.

 

http://www.videocopilot.net/tutorials/sure_target_2/

 

Second is design, you can have a bad layout if the colorswork; all in all you want both. Withoutstudying and researching color palettes for a week I found a web site thatgenerates color pallets based on an image. http://www.degraeve.com/color-palette/ it has to be uploaded to an FTP server orsomewhere online.

 

Render out a single frame of the area of video and generatea palette and it will help you out on color blending.

 

Good luck man, hope this helps

 

 

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You received some kill shots on here. I feel like a few tweaks will fix this. First thing is the camera movement. I felt my head tilt a few times trying towatching everything that was going on.

 

Check out this tutorial for stronger camera movements, thereis a free plug-in for after effects too.

 

http://www.videocopilot.net/tutorials/sure_target_2/

 

Second is design, you can have a bad layout if the colorswork; all in all you want both. Withoutstudying and researching color palettes for a week I found a web site thatgenerates color pallets based on an image. http://www.degraeve.com/color-palette/ it has to be uploaded to an FTP server orsomewhere online.

 

Render out a single frame of the area of video and generatea palette and it will help you out on color blending.

 

Good luck man, hope this helps

 

 

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science AND religion? how can these kids lose!?

 

you have a lot of ground work in there.. it just needs a lot more work. like everyone said, address your design issues (though, that takes more time than a few days) but in the meantime, smooth out your camera animation.. lose anything thats pixelated and replace it accordingly with high res stock footage or what have you. its not a lost cause.. its just going to take some strong finishing skills

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slows things down ridiculously?

 

Its would make things more complex than they would need to be with the types of moves he has in there. It would probably just make things worse. The moves for this piece need full control. Its just not a sure-target-able project.

 

Get jiggy with the curves editor, and the motion paths. Its all thats needed and will provide more direct control.

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Thanks everyone for your comments, even the blow to the head. (Did I mention I had a bulletproof helmet too?).

 

I am taking everything into consideration and redoing the parts that I can at this point. I will post an update when it's done.

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Thanks everyone for your comments, even the blow to the head. (Did I mention I had a bulletproof helmet too?).

 

I am taking everything into consideration and redoing the parts that I can at this point. I will post an update when it's done.

 

Here is the revised version based on your comments (as much as possible). http://vimeo.com/16688562 We are waiting on one last sound effect of crumping paper at the end.

 

I addressed:

  • The rainbow scene (made rainbow go over couch)
  • Pacing--taking out slower parts (except ending)
  • Replaced lowrez clips (bus, etc.)
  • smoothed out transitions
  • Added some "weight" in the kitchen dolly shot with sky replacement and bus in background
  • Tried to smooth out shaky camera moves without loosing resolution

Thanks everyone for their comments. Your a hard crowd, but I'd rather hear the straight talk than have my mom tell me how wonderful it is! HAHA!

 

For those of you who just said "it sucks," I would like to kindly ask you to please tell me exactly where it sucks and why. My goal as I learn graphics is to get better. I don't mind if you tell me it really sucks; that's how I grow, and that's what I want. But what areas specifically suck? Not being a jerk, just think that "it sucks" is a worthless critique. A lot of you said where it sucks and I truly appreciate it!

Edited by bobmarker

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One thing that really stands out and you can quickly revise is the main type color. The red to orange palette is not vibing at all with the rest of your spot. I would go for something simpler, play around with some other tones. Off the top of my head I'd suggest trying something in the blue range to complement the sky. Or green to complement the natural background.

 

Other things: kitchen scene. That type on the table with stars overlayed is terrrrible. Maybe try designing the type to look like the flour the boy is pouring. Might look better vertically placed rather than skewed onto the table. The scene stays on the establishing shot for too long, you should cut into the mom pouring stuff into the bowl sooner. The cuts you chose for the sequence leading up to the pancake stack are very confusing. Cutting from one angle of the bowls to a completely different angle than back is just going to jar the viewer. Simplify. Simplicity is your friend. This is what is making the spot feel rushed.

 

If you're going to keep the first camera move on the volcano the science should already be in the shot instead of sliding on. gives the viewer more time to read it.

 

There are some really weird wave glitches in the ark scene. They seem to be popping between states.

 

You've got your work cut out for you. But if you keep at it and retain the advice from this thread you'll be fine.

Edited by mete_shop

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Hello,

 

I think overall it was great and had me smiling. I dont have much motion graphics experience but I am a photoshop professional for years upon years and Im extremely well versed in compositing. My comments are on the text effects, mainly shadows and bevels.

 

Try using color for shadows. People often use black for shadows which just makes elements look dirty or grungy. When you have something like a pumpkin and a shadow is being cast on it, the shadow isnt black, its a darker orange. Using black (even if you use "Multiply") will just produce something that is unpleasant. I often use a curves adjustment layer with a mask to dial in just the right color mix for the shadow. Not only does it make a better composite, it makes the production quality so much better.

 

 

 

1. The opening text, there isnt enough contrast between the orange value and the blue value. If you want the colors as they are, i would suggest a stroke around the text (set behind the fill) of a light blue or white. and make sure your drop shadow is a dark blue and NOT black.

 

 

 

2. Take a look at the word "Cooking" in your incredibly entertaining video. I would (depending on whats casting that shadow) either adjust the drop shadow color, or if its a 3D object set the Light Transmission to a percentage that will bring in some of the layer color into the cast shadow.

 

 

 

3. You have some beveled text "BIBLE", apply the same principle. Dont use white for highlights and black for shadows if you can avoid it.

 

 

4. Also, the steam coming out of moms pan is too slow. maybe speed that up and add an effect that looks like real steam behind the illustrated steam. just a quick blast for drama.

 

 

 

 

Great job.

Great work fun stuff.

Edited by The Beatles

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