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#1 RustyAce

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 03:46 PM

"You need to get rid of that illustrator program thingy and get you a real program like corel draw"
Local T-shirt guy...

I was told this after i had to explain that a vector, must be opened in a vector based program, in order to be editable, of course all of this was after he felt it was necessary to explain to me what vector art was... :o'
rusty ace
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Pablo Picasso

#2 graymachine

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 03:58 PM

Two conversations come to mind:

==================

Client: So, do you do your graphics in PowerPoint?

Me: Only at gunpoint.

Client: *blank stare*

==================

Client: Oh, I have to take that image over to ***** Post in the Flame suite to be retouched.

Me: Actually, that can be done in Photoshop in about 5 minutes, if that.

Client: On the phone to other post house. "Can I book 2 hours in the Flame? Oh.. lunch?! Sure!"

Me: *sigh*

Client: Oh wow, you did change the color of the rearview mirror! That's neat. Well, I'll take it over to *** and see what they can do.

Harry Frank // graymachine.com


#3 foughtthelaw

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:11 PM

Boss: so for this video I want to do some fancy transitions....like a vine growing across the screen and filling it up. there's a plugin I found yesterday that I think might help.(sends me a link)

Me : (without even opening the link) so you want me to use 3d stroke?

Boss: Oh.....you know it?

#4 RustyAce

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:12 PM

Found this one on the boards
SermonOfMockery "you had to get personal, didn't you fucker?!!"..."You'll be eating crow my friend... EATING CROW"
rusty ace
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

#5 spicoli

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:18 PM

the client : i'm digging circles but rectangular

me: huh?

client: also the color scheme should be red and orange but make them cool tones

me: what in the f@$k????

#6 SermonOfMockery

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:30 PM

Found this one on the boards
SermonOfMockery "you had to get personal, didn't you fucker?!!"..."You'll be eating crow my friend... EATING CROW"

it's true, i *AM* a genius.

#7 rykke

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:33 PM

Boss : "I want the transition to look like this......whisssshhhh whooop....whiiisshhhh shhhhhhhhhttt....!" *all while motioning with his hands*

Me : "Can you show me that last part again?"

Boss: " whisshhhhhh shhhhhhhttttt!"

Me : " I can't quite get that last part?"

Boss: " shhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhttt"

Me : " hahahahhaahaha, nice sound effects you want those in there aswell"

#8 revilo1

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:47 PM

converstaion with client's "Designer" (aka. son or step son)


Me: Hey can you open the PSD. and change the overlay color of layer 4. That should fix the coloring problem

Designer: What's a PSD?

Me: Photoshop file?

Designer: Photoshop has layers??

Me: Blink....Blink...Blink, that feature is new to CS (laying on Sarcasm pretty thickly)

Designer: I've been using Photoshop since version 4 and I've never heard of layers.

#9 Firebetty

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 04:59 PM

I like this thread. Makes me feel less itchy.
Does anyone really read these signatures?

#10 RustyAce

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 05:01 PM

just thought it might be fun...
rusty ace
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
Pablo Picasso

#11 jeickholt

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 05:42 PM

"Looks good, but could you smallerize the logo a bit more?"

#12 paccollective

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 05:47 PM

client: "could you paint that invisible"

(...which unbelievably and completely unintentionally made sense)
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#13 mete_shop

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 05:49 PM

Boss : "I want the transition to look like this......whisssshhhh whooop....whiiisshhhh shhhhhhhhhttt....!" *all while motioning with his hands*

Me : "Can you show me that last part again?"

Boss: " whisshhhhhh shhhhhhhttttt!"

Me : " I can't quite get that last part?"

Boss: " shhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhttt"

Me : " hahahahhaahaha, nice sound effects you want those in there aswell"


We totally have one of those here.

He'll even make sound effects to himself while wathcing the preview. All wshhhing and papow! - ing to himself, not sure if he even realizes how dumb he sounds. Hm. Well, let's make that he definitely doesn't realize how dumb he sounds.

#14 paccollective

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 06:14 PM

context: a 2D comp comprised of live action stills.

client: "can we see the other side of the car"

me: "oh, did you shoot the other side?"

client: "no, but you said you have a virtual camera in the shot"

me: "yes, i do but..."

client: "great, so lets see the other side of the car"

me: "uuhmm..."
http://www.bleb.me

#15 graymachine

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 07:37 PM

client: "can we see the other side of the car"

I used to keep a magic wand at my desk for occasions like this..

"Well.. let me shake the magic wand at the screen and see what happens!!! Oh... it must be out of magic today".

Harry Frank // graymachine.com


#16 foughtthelaw

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 08:19 PM

I used to keep a magic wand at my desk for occasions like this..

"Well.. let me shake the magic wand at the screen and see what happens!!! Oh... it must be out of magic today".


I had this audio class in high school. He told people that were going to do sound recording professionally in a studio to always have a slider for execs. Just have it be the only one that's not hooked up to something and tell them that it's the switch that controlls what they want to change. let them fuck with it until it's just right. then go on with your work.


I wish we could do something like that.

#17 Firebetty

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 08:49 PM

Client: Hey, can you put some 3D in this?
Me: I'm not really very skilled in 3D...
Client: Well, it's something easy to make in 3D. It's only a couple klieg lights...and some light shining up from them...and can you move the camera around a bit to make it look realistic?
Me: right. I'll do that.
Does anyone really read these signatures?

#18 atomic22

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 09:04 PM

Boss : "I want the transition to look like this......whisssshhhh whooop....whiiisshhhh shhhhhhhhhttt....!" *all while motioning with his hands*

Me : "Can you show me that last part again?"

Boss: " whisshhhhhh shhhhhhhttttt!"

Me : " I can't quite get that last part?"

Boss: " shhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhhhhhhttt shhhhhhhhhttt"

Me : " hahahahhaahaha, nice sound effects you want those in there aswell"



I used to keep a magic wand at my desk for occasions like this..

"Well.. let me shake the magic wand at the screen and see what happens!!! Oh... it must be out of magic today".


LMAO :P

ohh that's soo good.

#19 biggieboy

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 09:29 PM

Not as good as others, but incompetence nonetheless:

We hired a photographer to shoot some stills of our hosts to include in a show open. We told her we wanted high resolution pics so we could zoom in and pick our framing in post, but she wouldn't center people in frame, so in most pictures an arm or leg would be cut off and make the picture useless. We also told her we wanted soft shadows across the host's face, so she set her exposure time to like 2 seconds so the whole picture would wind up soft. If the subject moved the slightest bit it would look out of focus.

Over 400 pictures and we could only use 3. We needed to do a second shoot with a different photographer to get it right. Funny thing is she's still fighting us to pay her because "it doesn't matter if you got what you wanted, I was there for a full day!"

#20 foughtthelaw

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 09:46 PM

So this litterally just happened to me.

Art Director: I don't like this it looks like it's being projected on the wall

Me: well what would you like me to do diffrent

AD: Shake it a round a little more....you know the wat something looks when it's coming through a broken projector.




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